Saying Goodbye

It was mid-August of 2000 and I was excited about leaving my parents’ house and starting out on my own.  Excited, but scared.  With my new independence I went out and did something I had always wanted to do but wasn’t allowed to while living with my parents.  I went to the shelter and adopted a dog.  My sister and my boyfriend at the time came with me and we saw this big adorable puppy in the back of a cage, being completely overshadowed by a much smaller but loud barking dog.  He tried to approach so we could pet him and the small dog nipped at him and he cowered to the back of the cage again.  We looked into his soulful eyes and knew he was ours, fleas, parasites, kennel cough, and all.  We named him Mudhoney.  The vet said he was a little less than a year old and a mix of what they thought was a Golden Retriever and Chow.

He was never an overly rambunctious sort of puppy though he loved to play.  He would chew his big raw hide bones and tearing the squeaker out of stuffed animal squeaky toys made him so excited!  He would bow down to you to get you to play and he loved to be pet just above his tail.

My boyfriend and I moved in together and across the country.  He traveled almost all the time for his job but I felt safe at home because of my dog.  He was the best dog you could ask for.  He went every where with me!  We had doggie play dates and hung out all the time at the dog park and went hiking in the mountains.  Whenever it snowed he would go into the yard and use his nose to throw snow into the air.  It was his own snowball fight with himself!  With his thick double coat he’d lay out in the snow and I would have to call him over and over to convince him to come inside.

Sadly the very day we moved into our new place Mudhoney jumped over the fence and ran into the street.  He was hit by a car who looked back but didn’t even stop.  I was picking up family at the airport so as soon as I got home with the car we rushed him to an emergency vet.  He was very lucky to have only suffered a broken leg.  He had to wear a cone for quite a while as it healed which he was not happy about but looked pathetically cute.  He did heal but his leg always bothered him a bit after that and he started to distrust strangers more and more.  We adopted another dog a year later and our new dog was much more energetic.  Times twenty.  She destroyed furniture and had potty training issues and jumped on the kitchen table despite being 90 lbs.  We always said our dogs were just like Shadow and Chance from Homeward Bound.  Mudhoney was a wonderful big brother to her, but soon after that he didn’t like dogs he didn’t know quite as much either.

Life went on with me, my boyfriend, and our two dogs.  We were a family.  My boyfriend made that official by proposing and Jason and I knew we had to include our dogs in our wedding in some way.  We were going to be married in the church so having them as part of the ceremony wasn’t allowed.  So we dressed them in a tux and gown and took pictures and used the photo as our Save the Date cards. (I’ll have to find a picture of our actual Save the Dates later but here is an outtake of Mud in his tux):

After we were married we moved across the country again to be near family.  Soon after we started our own family.  When we brought our son home Mudhoney sniffed him with great interest, then loved him forever.  His pack grew as we grew our family.  We had three more kids and he was there to greet each one as they arrived at their home.  He was an amazing family dog.  He even chewed his own nails so I didn’t have to cut them!  What dog is that awesome?!  He would bark at any one coming to our house as a protective family dog should, but when he had a toddler pull themselves up on his dog dish and play in it while he tried to eat or a baby sit on his back pulling his ears he was patient and even loving, licking them as a reprimand.  It was obvious how much he loved the kids.  If people started playing too rough and he thought the kids were going to get hurt, he would bark like crazy!

We tested Mudhoney’s patience not just with kids but with a kitten!  Jason rescued a tiny kitten from a storm drain not long after we had our first baby.  We had a cat before and Mudhoney didn’t mind but she was an older cat so they both did their own things.  This kitten took much more of an interest in Mudhoney.  Not in our other dog, just Mudhoney.  She’d cuddle up to him, she’d purr and stretch her claws at him.  He’d look a bit annoyed but laid there as a surrogate parent to a kitten who was just a bit bigger than his paw.

He was everything I could have ever wanted in a dog.  In a friend, a part of my family.  He shared so many of my most special moments in life, from moving out of my parent’s house to getting engaged and getting married, to having my kids and bringing each of them home.  He was there for all of it, right by my side.  I felt safe with him.  He was loyal, protective, loving, patient.  He was great for hugs when you were scared or sad.  He was there running around when you were happy or excited.  You could pay a million dollars and never be able to get a dog as perfect as him.

Tonight Mudhoney passed away, suddenly but peacefully.  He wasn’t sick, he was even laying with us this afternoon enjoying family time as we played a board game with the kids.  He was 13 years old and I was able to share 12 of those years with him.  I am heart-broken.  Our family is heart-broken.  Though it is a blessing that he went so quickly and peacefully without having to suffer through illness, it means we were completely taken by surprise.  I don’t think you can ever feel prepared but… there are truly no words for what went through me when I saw him tonight.

Mud-Mud, you were the best dog in the entire world.  You are so loved and will be so missed.  Enjoy all the squeaky toys and snow to nose at and hiking trails that Heaven has for you, though I know your favorite thing has always been your family and you will always be here with us in our hearts.

Mudhoney Angelini, August 1999 to June 23, 2012

“Dear heaven,

Thank you for letting us have Mudhoney for a long time!  I know it was your will for Mudhoney to die.  But I really miss him.”

Amen.

6 responses to “Saying Goodbye”

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